Goodbye 250's! On the road to the SEXY new me!

Yeah, so I'm fat. I never claimed not to be. If you had my husband for 10 years you'd have crappy self-esteem too. You'd find love in food and drown your troubles in it.

No more.

I cheated this morning, I weighed again. I'm really only supposed to weigh once a week, so that way at each weigh-in I feel like I've accomplished something. I'm down 7 lbs from my starting weight, and have said goodbye to the 250's. The good thing is, I'm not 5' tall. I'm nearly 6' tall, so 248 lbs on me looks different than on a short person. Not justifying my weight, but at least I won't have to wear a tent for clothes much longer.

I've decided to give up my membership to the gym. I never used it, and don't want to. It was a couples membership I got with the ex. I'm taking my name off the contract so he can add his girlfriend that lives with him. My stomach turns every time I even think about her.

Am I jealous? I don't think so. What I'm upset about is how blind I was to the fact he had a relationship with her long before my father died in July. The ex can blame my mom for busting our relationship up, but you know what - he did it a year and a half ago when he made the internet and his online girlfriends and his porn more important than his family.

Enough of that, I'm still depressed over the XBOX. Not like I can use it while I live here, but I'd at least like to know it works, you know?

::sigh::

So a co-worker talked to me about 24-hour Fitness. I think I'm going to try them. For the main reason that they are the company that promotes the Biggest Loser. And there were people competing for the show here. So they are used to fat, out of shape people who are determined to lose weight. That's me. I want to walk into that courtroom as skinny and sexy as possible, so that the ex is drooling all over something he will be forever kicking himself because he gave it up and will never have it again. The satisfaction I will feel when I show him and his butt-ugly girlfriend that I AM sexy, that I AM the hottest thing there is, and HA HA you gave it up. It will be priceless, and the only payback I will need.

I will need all the support I can get. Please leave comments, subscribe to my feeds... I need to know that I'm not alone, that I can really do this, and show the world who I really am.